The True Test Of Time

Its' been a year since I officially started blogging, which is kind of crazy when I think about it. A year ago this blog was to help me deal and figure out what the fuck I wanted to do with my life. A place to write down every fear, emotion, memory and thought that came to my "post grad" mind. I remember being out to lunch with my best friend Ally, who at the time was studying for her boards, and asking herself the same question, "what the fuck am I going to do with my life." I begin reading my first post called "Dear August", that summed up the fear of what I was going to do come then, when the summer was over and I wasn't going back to the life I had made for myself. Ally immediately started crying, and we sat there on a sunny afternoon in August, drinking wine and crying over the feeling of the unknown.

I'd be lying if I said the first year out of college was a breeze, because honestly it was more like a hurricane. I accepted a love I thought I deserved, spent four months on crutches and got let go from my first real world job. Although all these were very minor bumps when you read it off paper, but the emotion was one that was constant. I kept asking myself, when will it work out for me like it had for so many of my friends. I began self doubting myself and what I wanted for myself. After being told "this career wasn't for me" in March, I felt as though nothing was for me at all. I watched friends move to big cities for their dream jobs, and others fall involve with great guys. But above all, they were happy, which was all I really wanted for myself.

To think back where and what I was feeling a year ago, to where I am now is one that I never thought would happen. Never in a million years would I imagine to have landed my dream job, 3 weeks after being told "this isn't for you". And to know I know what is for me now, is the greatest gift of all. Although my situation is very little to what people deal with everyday, it is one that I am forever grateful to have gone through. I learned that whats meant to be will be, and whats not probably wasn't even that great to begin with. Timing really is everything and although I will never understand why things and people don't last forever, or don't happen sooner or later, I guess things and people happen when your ready for them.

So I guess this is me updating you with where my life is now, and reassuring you that things and people will come when you least expect it. I recommend answering every phone call because you don't know if that will be the employer of your dreams. 9 out of 10 times it will be Sallie May reminding you of your student loans, but that 1 time will make up for it all. Life happens when you least expect it, I can promise you that.